@tequilasaltlife: Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Priscilla_YEAH: Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".
@RobertPunchur: I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants.
@wittwitbarista: I just saw a woman push 5 little kids in a shopping cart out of Walmart. I didn't realize that you could get them in bulk now.
@SteveSuckington: ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering