@CoreyKeyz: Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on.
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@jordan_stratton: Remember--the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your appearance, lack of talent, and general personality.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style.
@Marlebean: AHHHHHHHH HONEY COME QUICK THERE'S A RAT IN THE SHOwer oh uh never mind, it's just my hair in the drain
@AdriannaLaCervx: I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues.