@CoreyKeyz: Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on.
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@DevinSiebold: Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez... the same week Black Ops 2 comes out? Good call Justin.
@KelFocker: I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
@Brianhopecomedy: Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?