@daemonic3: Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
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@PaperWash: [First day as a private investigator] *Forgets to turn off camera shutter sound *Gets murdered
@man_spach: I shut down my computer in the middle of an iTunes update and I think Siri just sent a Terminator back in time to kill teenage me.
@Just_BCS: Wine - you're gonna sleep good Beer - you're probably going to hit on your cousin. Whiskey - everyone will see your genitals.