@benmathaicomedy: 'Vegetarians' don't eat meat. 'Vegans' also don't eat eggs, milk or cheese. The final step is to just stand there +pretend to be a tree.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@abbycohenwl: Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic
@iwearaonesie: wife *feels bad for feeding the kids chicken nuggets 3 times this week* kids: THIS IS THE BEST WEEK OF OUR LIVES!
@DeadLioness: Getting murdered would be scary, but not as scary as if the forensic guy with the white chalk would trace my body fatter than I really was