@akatinamarie: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
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@girlontapas: I hate it when I want wine and the wine home delivery man hasn't been invented yet.
@XplodingUnicorn: Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, "I already TOLD you. You never listen." We have no idea if you're lying.
@cervixsmash: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."