@SkinnerSteven: Venus and Serena are famous for being Tennis-y Williams
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@TheRolo: [Ouija board] Me: Demon? I-W-I-L-L-E-A-T-Y-O-U-R-E-S-O-U-L Me: *your Y-O-U-K-N-O-W W-H-A-T-I-D-O-N-T-W-A-N-T-Y-O-U-R-S-O-U-L-A-N-Y-M-O-R-E
@dubiousrhetoric: if u hurt ur leg u can use the frozen veggies at whole foods as ice packs 4 free. hold on im getting an update from the manager. no u cannot
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: The laundry pods are missing! Me: Oh really? H: Did you eat them again? M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why? H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!
@RobertJrDowney: I think Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.