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@SkinnerSteven: Venus and Serena are famous for being Tennis-y Williams
@bourgeoisalien: [robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going
@Reel2Dialog2: I'm not seeing "cat herder" on any of these job websites.
@tarashoe: that wasn't the question
@SteveSuckington: [my dad and my 3 yr old daughter]
Him: Hey sweetie how've you been?
Her: I have a boyfriend
*my daughter and I high five*
@weinerdog4life: Tie a sweater around your waist so you can pretend a short ghost is hugging you.