@SkinnerSteven: Venus and Serena are famous for being Tennis-y Williams
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@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
@MicheleAKALips: Sometimes when I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying, "ok they're dead, what do I do with the body?"
@MikeDrucker: I don't understand why everyone is so passionate about sports; it's all just bullsh - HEY! YOU! NO! DARTH VADER DOES NOT HAVE A GREEN SABER!
@ItsAndyRyan: Russian computer: "Enter password" Me: "Beef stew" Russian computer: "Password not stroganoff"