@10InchesPlus: Venus Williams should marry Bruno Mars and become Venus Mars.
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@SteveKoehler22: The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
@ItsAndyRyan: PIG: "I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon" PSYCHIATRIST: "I'll cure you" PIG: "Oh God, not you too"
@EndhooS: [High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin