@Michael1979: Very important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is my first step towards becoming a great businessman
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@954LeenO: I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times
@junejuly12: Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'
@Fred_Delicious: [Jumps into taxi] "FOLLOW..." [taxi driver turns around excitedly] "...ME ON TWITTER" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]
@ArfMeasures: ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships