@Michael1979: Very important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is my first step towards becoming a great businessman
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@Smooheed: I just ruined my 5 year olds' entire life by using the wrong shade of yellow for the sun Yay parenting
@Token_Geezer: The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline
@lynyrdsbackyard: Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus.
@WheelTod: I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.