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@BrattyBarbie: Very little scares me. So does very big.
@causticbob: sleeping beauty
@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.
@NicestHippo: An issue that will unite all Americans
@WilliamAder: My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it.
@hardlyrelevant: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up fire* and this is my mixtape