@calluptome: Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them.
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@HeyZeus666: With so many unhappy married couples and a 50% divorce rate, I think it's pretty obvious that Americans don't breed well in captivity.
@Amusitr0n: *bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?
@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.