@calluptome: Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them.
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy.
@oakhillbargrill: - grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America
@GensPlace: Spiders have it about right. If he doesn't bring her a snack when he courts her it's curtains..