@calluptome: Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them.
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@bornmiserable: ME: Whoa, these people are hardcore Goths CORONER: How many times do I have to tell you that they're corpses, you're looking at corpses
@E_lok44: Based on the amount of animal hair, clinging to your t-shirt, I'm going to pass on your homemade cookies, thank you.
@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?