@bfrosty04: Vicodin and Scotch. When you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set.
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@BberrySurprise: "I do not negotiate with terrorists!" said me, everyday, multiple times a day, to my children.
@fro_vo: [gettysburg] Abraham Lincoln: four score and seven years ago- Me: wtf does that mean Abraham Lincoln: 87 Me: say 87 then
@carlyken: I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house.
@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don’t care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test