@bfrosty04: Vicodin and Scotch. When you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set.
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@ilovepie84: My crazy neighbor claims she was robbed last night. I know she is crazy because I found all her medication as I was breaking into her house.
@BuckyIsotope: Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer
@TylerComeOn: I parked in the "C" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof.