@bfrosty04: Vicodin and Scotch. When you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set.
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@Fyrekrakr73: Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
@KentWGraham: Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters it doesn’t contain?
@YayatiSB: My wife said: Pls go to shop & buy a carton of Milk & if they have eggs, get six. I came back with Six cartons of Milk & told they had eggs.
@Lexi__Alexandra: "Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. "I don't work here" I yelled back.