@StevieKnip: What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy

@Rollinintheseat: Coworker: "How was your weekend?" Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."

@mrtruthandsoul: "Bjärk! Bjärk!" -Björk's dog

@noog: Jesus: I have to die because of sin God: Yes Jesus: Which you created as punishment God: Yes Jesus: For eating an apple God: Yes Jesus: No

@ConcernedSirGuy: Stupid seal at the zoo would not sing "kiss by a rose." REFUND!