@lucyjamesgames: Video game dad jokes are the best dad jokes
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@Writepop: "Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome." - Pew Pew Pew Research Center
@iAmJuddy: Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*
@LindaInDisguise: Setting a dowry for my teenage daughter. So far I've got 2 dogs, 1 little sister and an ant farm. Act before midnight, I'll toss in an iPad.