@RobDenBleyker: Video games don't cause violence, they PREVENT it. Whenever I see a turtle now, I chuck it off the nearest cliff where it can't hurt anyone.
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@ErrenMichaels: *logs into Facebook *looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends *comments 'is that your dad' on all of them *logs out of Facebook
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
@jonnysun: to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the "shout" song says "a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"