@RobDenBleyker: Video games don't cause violence, they PREVENT it. Whenever I see a turtle now, I chuck it off the nearest cliff where it can't hurt anyone.
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@VenusRockHobbit: If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite.
@ComedicBust: WIFE: Why are you bleeding? ME [recovering alcoholic]: *flashback to sliding across the hood of my car in the Arby’s parking lot* BAR FIGHT