@drewtoothpaste: [VIDEO] John Oliver Agrees With You For 22 Minutes
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep." -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow
@IamEveryDayPpl: <first date> Him: *wipes mouth and tosses napkin on unfinished plate* Me: *seductively slides napkin to the side and finishes his meal*
@MichaelLarrick: If white guys are day drinking, it's inevitable that they're going to start wrestling at some point later that night.