@Skoogeth: villain: it seems i’m holding all the cards, mr. bond
james bond: UNO!
@markydoodoo: [rooster sits down in barber chair]
Give me a cockadoodledo
@robdelaney: Steve Jobs' entire legacy is invalidated by the shortness of the iPhone charger's cord.
@TheGoogleFactz: How to float ? See here
@ArfMeasures: GUIDE: If you see a bear, just make yourself big
DOCTOR: You weigh 300 kilos
ME [mouthful of donuts] I saw a bear
@: There is no land animal faster than a cat that hears the treat packet being opened.