@SarahR_82: Violently swerving ur car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesnt work like it does with humans. Just in case u need to know.
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@msdanifernandez: [dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend
@laurenreeves: I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically.
@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
@vapidaccount: Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M