@meganamram: "Vitamin Water"?? Sorry bud, that exists and it's called SOUP
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@philEfanaddict: [1st Date] Her: I've had a hysterectomy Him: I've had a vasectomy Her: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Him: You gonna eat those fries?
@JRevard: My bf asked me to act like a "naughty school girl" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate.
@HomeProbably: The best thing I ever did was install a fake doorbell. Now no one ever knocks on my door.