@BuckyIsotope: Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he's losing at Risk.
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@bridger_w: If you're pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek
@CornOnTheGoblin: °at Nike advertising meeting° I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec
@TheCatWhisprer: [trying to stop my toddler's tantrum in a restaurant] *harsh whisper* If you don't cut it out right now then there's nothing else I can do