@jodiekinzzz: Vodka burrito was a success
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@IamEnidColeslaw: the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials
@B_poling82: Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question.
@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...