@donjuantip: Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
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@CornOnTheGoblin: Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?
@WonderMonkey78: I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God.
@BijersSunbird: Just bought a telescope and the eldest asked if I'd be doing horoscopes. Yes. Leo: You will be written out of someone's will.