@ViciousBobbi: Vodka is just potatoes that made the right career choices.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. "Why's that?" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog.
@AaronFullerton: "Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."
@mbichaela: me [to snail on ceiling]: ah ure a cute lil guy how'd u get up there? snail: I just want to die pls why do I have to be so sticky