@Tat6277: Volunteer shark bait is a much more inspiring name for surfers
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@TheRolo: And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like "Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"
@AndyAsAdjective: [at oceanside seafood restaurant] Me: Is the fish fresh here? Waiter: Yes *from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*
@TheHyyyype: Signs that your wife is cheating on you: 1. Wearing more makeup and perfume than usual 2. Acting distant 3. Sleeping with another dude