@Tat6277: Volunteer shark bait is a much more inspiring name for surfers
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@AllyBallyBeal: Guy across the road can't get his truck started. Now he's rolled up his sleeves. That's how you start trucks. By rolling up your sleeves.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "This new flavour of Pringles is horrible." Wife: "You're eating a tube of tennis balls."
@JohnLyonTweets: The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I'm never entirely sure we really made plans.
@alisha_foley: Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better.