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@GregHenchman: "Voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop."
@TheDragoEffect: REALTOR: It's a great neighborhood. Wonderful schools-
ME: And the Pokemon?
REALTOR: .... sigh. Mostly Pidgeys
ME: I think I've seen enough.
@whatevererikka: Stop undressing me with your eyes!!
Use your teeth.
@3_livi: Homework. The teachers' way of knowing how smart the parent is.
@Tayl0rBr00ks: A bald guy in a turtleneck sweater looks 97% like a roll-on deodorant.
@Kesse_GH: A Girl on Twitter, finally gave birth,Now she's been tweeting her baby pics every 20min & Makes me feel I am raising her child with my Data