@BadIuckBrian: Voted class president. Assassinated.
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@Parentpains: Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out.
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."