@Robert_Beau: Voting was a lot more fun in the days when you got 4 snapshots for a dollar in the booth.
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@weinerdog4life: Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt.
@aimlessamers: Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@Brampersandon_: *runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh...yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No