@CineRobert: "Waaaah, my boyfriend is a jerk, but I'm gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone."
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@UNTRESOR: Date etiquette: The smaller fork is a salad fork. Use the larger fork to eat the salad fork.
@sarcasticmommy4: When I tell my kids I'll do something in a minute, what I'm really saying is, "Please forget."
@Ristolable: Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing