@CineRobert: "Waaaah, my boyfriend is a jerk, but I'm gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone."
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@TheAmecha: Congrats, you've been selected for the job Me: Whats the salary? 10k now and will increase to 25k later Me: Ok then, I will come later
@Tw1tter_K1tten: One day the mailman is going to murder my whole family and my dog will be like "Ha. Who needs to quit yapping and go lay down now?"
@JustLikeMikee: Modern Warfare: a $700,000,000 dollar plane drops a $50,000 bomb on a $1.00 tent