@brookeivy: Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?
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@VerbsRProudest: I'm at doc's office & they have 3 designated areas: flu like symptoms, stomach virus symptoms, & kids. I don't want to catch any of the 3.
@merican_ninjy: I gave my wife a tip how she could wash the dishes better. On a side note, Dawn detergent is really starting to make my hands more soft.
@PetrickSara: "You saw nothing." -me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash