@DannyZuker: "WAIT!" I screamed at my daughter as she typed Y-O-U on my computer but miraculously the autocomplete added "TUBE" so yeah, God exists.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Wasn't it fun cutting down our own Christmas tree? Me: Yea, especially when that guy chased us out of his yard...
@badbanana: Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
@darrinfb: Ok America. You've made us chuckle with this whole Trump 2016 thing. But if we see Kanye 2020 happen... No. More. SYRUP. Love, Canada
@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.