@wickedsuga: Wait. I thought Fifty Shades of Grey was just a coloring book for dogs.
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@panmidwest: [Calling concert venues across the country] Hi yes, I'm just calling to let you know that on your website you spelled "weekend" incorrectly
@EndhooS: Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'
@Thedudish: My boss asked if I had any special skills so I put my hand under my armpit to make fart sounds. We laughed and now I'm clearing out my desk