@PaulyPeligroso: Wait, is Obama our second black President or our first black President again?
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@KentWGraham: My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.
@GavinProbably: Said "large" today at Starbucks, and everyone starting chanting "Venti, Venti, Venti!" and a mass suicide occurred.
@DebraMuffin: Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
@ceejoyner: ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear. ME: the baked goods? ENEMY: no. focus on your fear. ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery