@DirtMcTurd: Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be.
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@markedly: Friend: Dude, you need to get into her pants. Me: [imagining how soft her leggings would feel over my thighs] YES
@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.
@sageboggs: I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a new album available on iTunes now