@better_off_dad: Wait - so Nutella isn’t Cinderella’s crazy sister?!
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@gonzotrucker: Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
@VanGobot: *bank robbery* ROBBER: nobody moves, nobody gets hurt! ME: *gazing tearfully at a pic of my long distance gf* too late