@DannyZuker: Wait, so when couples are in custody battles it's to KEEP the kids? #WTF
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@INDlAN_: I’m not a professional photographer, I’m just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them.
@TheBoydP: [Heaven] Saint Peter: Welcome to the pearly gates! You’re here early; you must be dying to get in! LOL Me: Too soon…
@david8hughes: [at the drs] Dr: are you sexually active? Me: yeah Dr: with real people Me [avoiding eye contact & twisting my foot in the ground]: yip
@rickolantern: My neighbor told me he childproofed his house. And the very next day his wife came home with a newborn. Worst. Childproofer. Ever.