@DannyZuker: Wait, so when couples are in custody battles it's to KEEP the kids? #WTF
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@cluedont: If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.
@TurnpikeTony: I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house.
@outsmartedmommy: I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
@wandering_leaf9: *Me & dog* *duel for the last piece of chicken* *tosses a stick to distract* *fetches the stick* *chicken is gone* Well played Peanut...!!