@JenAshleyWright: Wait. Why is it called ghosting? Ghosts stick around. THAT'S THEIR WHOLE DEAL.
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@abhorrent_wife: There's a fine line between confidence and delusion and I ride that shit like a bear on a unicycle.
@SteveSuckington: [blind date] HER: lmao! You seriously wore pajamas on a first date? ME: hey!! You're not blind!!
@tchrquotes: Wife: I'm going to grab some dinner, you want anything? Me: No thanks, I'm stuffed. Wife: Ok, I'm going to Taco... Me: I'll have 9 tacos.