@josswhedon: Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Blacksmith *shoes a horse* Swordsmith *forges a blade* Aerosmith *gives a groupie gonorrhea*
@markhoppus: Gonna replace my friends' hand sanitizer with lube and watch them rub their hands together for an hour while it doesn't evaporate.
@drwgmawr: Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help.
@jonnysun: starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes