@josswhedon: Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again
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@rolldiggity: A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing
@david8hughes: [at work] "Mornin, Margaret." "Mornin. You're late today." [looks at watch] "Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?"
@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine