@josswhedon: Wait, women get the WHOLE DAY? Is that in every country? It's night where I am is it over can it be about me again
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@therealeatwood: [Woods] SNOW WHITE: Oh, what a lovely little house! GOLDILOCKS: [in ski mask] Beat it, sister. I’ve been scoping this place out for weeks.
@ryan9billion: I liked watching squirrel soap operas unfold in my backyard right up until the damn neighbor cat murdered all the actors.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Husband: "You should try going to bed earlier." Me: "You should take the 3yo to work with you." Him: "I'd get nothing done." Me: "EXACTLY."