@Home_Halfway: Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel.
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@SteveSuckington: When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
@Overdue_Bills: Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??
@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'
@LizHackett: If you're robbing my house, just bring a second guy to eat a pizza in front of my dog while you take whatever you want.