@Home_Halfway: Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman
@AbrasiveGhost: HER: do u have a condom ME: u bet [whistles] [an eagle flies thru the window & drops off a cat] H: holy shit M: ya sometimes he brings cats
@ericsshadow: 1985: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me