@ObscureGent: Waiting for Bernie Sanders to come out from under the ring and hitting someone with a steel chair to claim the presidential belt.
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@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.
@Mr_Kapowski: HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness
@JustDontBugMe: Me: My room is in shambles. Where do I start cleaning!? *5mins later* Me: I need a new room.