@donni: Wake up, kids! Bees can't even read, much less spell. IT'S A SCAM!
@simoncholland: Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife.
@VerifiedJayy: Maybe the Mayans were talking about hockey
@TheAlexP: Maybe raccoons aren't really digging through trash for food,
Maybe they're just looking for something to remove their eye shadow.
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand*
Booth operator: ma'am please not again
Me: someBODY once tolled me—
@kaatilana: Error 609: When your kid sleeps in between.