@theyearofelan: Wake up your lover by hysterically screaming "Are you sleeping?!?!"
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@SadieSkyNinja: Indian Twitter is a lot like regular Twitter except everyone is misquoting Gandhi instead of Marilyn Monroe.
@Reverend_Scott: [1692 Salem] "BURN THE WITCH" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH "No, Frank, at the stake" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that.
@blopt: My parents are middle aged. "Mine are to-" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] "CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"