@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
@aveuaskew: You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead.
@Reverend_Scott: [interview]
"Where you see yourself in 5 years?"
Doing your job.
"And me?"
Jobless and upset about the divorce
"OMG" *runs out crying*
@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
@KenJennings: FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr
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