@wettbutt: *wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice
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@julie2288: The hardest part of raising kids is learning to let them go... Especially when they're 19 and STILL can't remember to flush a toilet.
@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
@onion_an: [jumps in getaway car after bank robbery] "They said no I couldn't have any money" Damn it, they make it look so easy in the movies
@GetCougarized: I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time.