@TheRolo: [Wakes up to a mysterious noise]
Lover, is that you?
*Refrigerator hums loudly*
@InternetHippo: Me: I am a taxpayer. I pay your salary. You work for ME
Waiter who’s refusing to bring me extra rolls: None of that is true
@SheBanggs: It's cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read.
@Lisabug74: You realize a robot is telling you to pick out tree pictures to make sure you're not a robot.
@AimeeHelene1: If this paper cut is any indication of my pain threshold, then child birth would definitely kill me.
@wife_housy: Hubs says when I drink I'm "too loud" and use too many "big words."
WELL I'M SORRY IF MY VOCIFEROUS GRANDILOQUENCE BOTHERS YOU!!