@TheRolo: [Wakes up to a mysterious noise]
Lover, is that you?
*Refrigerator hums loudly*
@ToneLoaf: This Male Order Bride is the worst and most expensive typo I've ever paid for.
@Fred_Delicious: Waiter, there's a spider in my pie. I thought you had an "award winning chef"
*waiter points to MOST CUSTOMERS KILLED BY PIE SPIDERS trophy*
@TheMichaelRock: Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today
Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!
@xofreckles: Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm
ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss