@hyperblastchic: Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
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@Bownuggets: Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] "I ran into a door"
@FreudsTwin: Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills.
@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
@therealeatwood: ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for “A Person Who Deserves Love”? ME [crying]: Hahaha