@hyperblastchic: Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lisasopinions: Facilitator: Any questions about the sexual harrassment course before we start? *raises hand* Me: Is "harass" one word or two? F: Me: Thx
@radtoria: [intercom] Please stop putting clown shoes on the sacrificial goat. The ritual is in 3 days & the other cults aren't taking us seriously.
@girlontapas: I have to go stand in line at Gamestop now because I had a careless night of unprotected sex 13 years ago and Halo 5 is out today.
@sidleykate: Call me old-fashioned, but I believe marriage should be between a person who hates pickles and another person who will eat that pickle.