@hyperblastchic: Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
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@therealeatwood: [Watching Amityville Horror remake from 2005] ME: Don’t buy it! Don’t buy that house! YOU IDIOTS! THE REAL ESTATE MARKET IS ABOUT TO CRASH!
@JimmerThatisAll: I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them.
@IntrepidDeviant: You don't know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself