@badbanana: Walk into a random building, go to a random floor, step into a random meeting, and take a donut. Best donut you'll ever eat.
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@QwertyJones3: "That Will Smith is a nice young man, I hope he wins Celebrity Apprentice." No Grandma, that's Ben Carson and this is the Republican Debate
@MeetingBoy: "A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat." I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email.
@mantej: Why would anyone ever think gay people tear apart the fabric of society? They love fabric.
@flashember: [Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE