@SoulYodeler: Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old.
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@NolaChef504: When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways
@Jake_Vig: HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like? ME: I don’t think that will fit me.
@CrazyUncIeJoe: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done.