@Playing_Dad: Walk up in the club like "THIS IS MY JAM" handing out small jars of my homemade raspberry preserves
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@Cunda22: I always wear a wet suit and goggles to the pub so I don't look like an idiot when I wake up on the beach in the morning.
@Ivsy01: When your friend wants to do a drive by but none of us can see that good at night anymore.
@QueefTornado: Wife was feeling kinky last night so she got naked and I tied her to the headboard, then me and my buddy ordered pizza and played X-Box.
@robfee: If you laugh at a kid's joke that kid will tell the exact same joke at slightly louder volumes 8,000 times in a row.