@Playing_Dad: Walk up in the club like "THIS IS MY JAM" handing out small jars of my homemade raspberry preserves
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@fro_vo: Dr: well i have good news and bad news Me: give me the bad news Dr: you have cancer Me: what's the good news Dr: i don't
@Maxine12333: Wish we had the power of at least one 'do over' in our lives. I used mine up in the 1st grade and winning at hopscotch wasn't worth it.
@chadchaines: what jerk ever looked at a hamburger and thought "you know what this needs? A nice, soft, warm piece of lettuce."
@noog: [sees girl reading To Kill A Mockingbird] “Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] kills all those frickin birds.”