@OrigamiUndies: Walk up to the finest girl in the club and whisper, "excuse me, can I get at that outlet behind you hon?"
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@neiltyson: While eating as a guest at other people’s homes, I’m thinking their dogs are genetically obligated to-convince you they’ve never, ever been fed.
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
@TheOldFolksHome: Sue: I'm off to the hairdressers, what sort of cut would make me look beautiful? *giggles* Stan: A power cut.