@OrigamiUndies: Walk up to the finest girl in the club and whisper, "excuse me, can I get at that outlet behind you hon?"
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@KeetPotato: *gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say "that's why i bought it for you"
@pleatedjeans: "Ostriches can't fly" said the totally racist stewardess who made me dismount my ostrich & board the plane on foot like a lowly commoner
@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
@UncleDuke1969: The male mayfly, living for just 1 day, has only 12 hours to become successful enough to buy a sports car, get hair plugs, and start sleeping with his secretary.