@biorhythmist: Walked into a spider web and did an hour of tai chi in five seconds.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"
@GABBYdaAngSaya: God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years
@Marlebean: A nasal spray that's filled with glitter, so when you sneeze it's like a confetti popper.