@Brianhopecomedy: Walked into the kitchen and saw my wife laughing while putting a banana in the garbage disposal so I think I'll sleep in the other room.
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@RocketRankoon: You've won this round supervisor, but accidentally leave your Ok Cupid profile open one more time and you'll be a transgender time traveler.
@fro_vo: Mission Control: prepare to enter the vacuum of space Dog Astronaut: wait the what now
@DonKinderknecht: I put my baby on the baby changing station in the bathroom and when I was done, it was the same baby. :-(